Аккорды Tim Wilson - 100 Things To Remember

[Intro]
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(spoken) I had a crazy uncle that was on his deathbed a long time ago,
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he said "BOY... there's a hundred things in life every man needs to know to
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survive... and here's 39 of em'"

[Verse]
  A
A virgin don't never drive a Z-28.
A
Never bet the ranch on your prostate.
A
If it's got an adams apple, its probley a man.
A
Never trust a gay gypsy with the palm of your hand.
   D
She didn't accidently get good in bed.
   A
You can't join the church if your already dead.
 E
A work uniform ain't totally nude.
A
Brim and bass ain't seafood.
A
When theres guns in the house, one better be yours.
A
Don't be naked next to any fishin' lures.
A
If there's Girl Scout Cookies, she's a little too young.
A
If you say I do, be the ugly one
     D
Don't ever let a bald man borrow your comb.
     A
Never play strip poker in a nursin' home.
     E
Don't blame your pall bearers cuz they don't show.
       A
If your buried in the middle of the Super Bowl.
   B
Let people borrow money, they'll leave you alone.
B
Never fry bacon without a shirt on.
B
Never spray water on a hornets nest.
B
A woman rarely aces the drivers test.
   E
The sign probly don't really mean massage.
     B
Never threaten anybody in camoflauge.
       F#
Say you love her til she lays down the butcher knife.
B
Never put the move on the bosses wife.
B
She's messin' round on ya if yer briefs don't fit.
B
Never trust a hitch-hiker to babysit.
B
Cosmo is never in a happy home.
B
You can't cut a deal with a kidney stone.
 E
A politician ain't got an HMO.
B
Washin' her hair means she don't wanna go.
     F#
Don't ridicule a biker bout' his tatoo.
        B
You been married nine times, hell maybe its you.
C#
Doom ain't the same as Donkey Kong.
C#
If he's wearing high heels, you mighta raised him wrong.
C#
The clinic ain't the best place to pick up dates.
C#
Don't rent a room from a man named Bates.
 F#
A tank tops never on a billionaire.
C#
Stevie Ray Vaughn missed a note here and there.
   G#
How many get to heaven, no one knows.
   C#
But hell will be asses and elbows.

[Outro]
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(spoken) and then he died... crazy fool rolled over and DIED! and never did tell me
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what them other 61 things were... so if anybody out there knows... how
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bout gettin' ahold of me at tim wilson dot net